Live Your Life

**Soundtrack of the Minute - Just Whisper : Kelly Rowland**

I was moved yesterday by a blog post by one of my BLEURGHsessions, Shirley from Meek-n-Mild, about the progress she had made since high school where she was bullied and teased. As you know, I'm a very secretive person with trust issues, and that's because in the past, I also went through quite a similar ordeal. I wasn't as brave as she was to pinpoint the perpetrators to a member of staff (I did tell the Assistant Headteacher who was friendly with my mother) after an issue concerning it, escalated to the point it affected my studies and productivity in class. It went on for long enough until members of my family started to notice changes in my behaviour (unwarranted moodiness and depression- a term my mother was not a fan of) and my mother sat me down to give me one of the most moving talks of my life thus far.

I guess, to say I'm totally over my insecurities would be a lie. I still have 'ugly days', quite like any other girl. But I am a lot stronger coming from that, thanks to the strength and support of good friends and family. Friends were the main issue back then 'cos I didn't have people I could trust and confide in, and the problems got worse and I felt lonelier every day. To come from that to a day when I can point out the people I know will be at my funeral is a beautiful thing, and I'm truly thankful to God for that.

The reason I'm writing this is not to seek sympathy from my readers and subscribers, or to follow Shirley like a shadow, but to highlight the problems Bloggers face atm. We are not machines or immune to criticism. BLEURGH is meant to be a platform for free speech, quite like the aim of the internet in general. But for Anonymous scribers to write hateful comments about me, my looks or my family is just unnecessary.

I'm happy i've genuinely reached a point in my life where scornful words spat out to spite or hurt me, bear no effect on me. What I do feel, is sad and sorry for young bloggers who genuinely wish to share their craft and joys with the world and instead, are faced with bitter online-bullies...just stop! I live my life for me and no one else...if you don't like what you see, please DO NOT READ my BLEURGH or WATCH my Vleurghs...simples!

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Life is like a coin, you can only spend it once, so make the splurge worth it. Xisses

Bristol & Back

**Soundtrack of the Minute - Someone Like You : Adele**

I went on a mini-roadtrip (does it count as a roadtrip if I went solo by train?) to Bristol...yer thats a 3hr+ train journey from Manchester....for my friend's Graduation the other day. It dawned on me the night before that this would be the 1st long commute without Blanche (My MacBook) and I wanted to come as prepared as ever as I bore easy, and have the attention span of an ant.

 Arm Candy of choice : Black Leather Satchel from Oasis

 (Only £15 in the sale - £13 with a student discount)

 Gizmo Geek

Without Blanche I needed other forms of entertainment...I don't leave ANYWHERE without my iPhone4 and Blackberry...addict! Also packed my Fujifilm digital camera, which came in handy as they only had their phones and forgot a camera for I was Perez for the day LOL. Also HAD to bring my Nintendo DSi which i have neglected of late *bows head in shame*. The wires are the iPhone USB and BB USB (as my BB no longer charges from the mains adapter) and the Apple USB head.

 Literature 

HEAT Magazine - which I actually pinched from the seat beside me after the lady was kind enough to leave it there. The Graduation booklet & an old edition of Marie Claire that I also pinched from my eyebrow threading parlour...don't judge me. lastly, the Lauren Conrad - LA Candy (Christmas pressie) novel

 

Bare Necessities

DKNY Purse that holds all my essentials from lipgloss to DSi cartridges. 

My card wallet (which was actually my ex's...ahh well! One good thing came from that breakup LOL) that literally holds about £300 worth of cards...I seriously fear everytime I think I've lost it! 

DELL mint case.

Oriental woven mirror - a gift from my cousin from America

iPod (I'm a music freak) and Tissues lol 

 Blazer : H&M | Snood : H&M | Fingerless Gloves : Dorothy Perkins | Satchel : Oasis 

Dress : Urban Outfitters | Heels : Miss Selfridge

 The ceremony was beautiful! Although, tbh I spent most my time yawning and blog-hopping my BLEURGHsessions' coverage of LFW and the LOOK Show lol *blush*

 Went to dinner at this Chinese Buffet called Flavour Z and I fell in LOVE!

 First time ever indulging in a live cooking station! The prep and meal was fabulous. This was actually my 2nd main after a pancake wrap of beef and lamb in satay and black bean...I'm a foodie!

 The dessert at this place was to DIE11 OMG! I was so tempted that I induged in 2 plates although my eyes were hungrier than my belly and I ended up not finishing the plate on the right. But OMG....it was a beaut of a finisher :)

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Travel to unravel the world around. Xisses

BLEURGHair - Minaj Ombre

**Soundtrack of the Minute - My Last : Big Sean ft Chris Brown**

WOW! Can't even blame my bad blogger behaviour (alliteration unintentional LOL...guess i got it like that) on being busy cos quite honestly, I haven't been up to much. *sigh*

Went to London about a fortnight ago to get my hair done cos that mop had to GO! As you could tell from my Vleurgh, where i tucked it into the back of my fur headcandy....it just had to gets the stepping!! Oddly enough, I wasn't craving a style like I usually am. I just knew I'd had enough of the mountain that is my forehead and wanted to go back to long for a while as well. And I guess I wasn't quite over the Ombre effect....so in steps some BLEURGHair Inspiration. All images are from specific searches from Google

I saw this image and knew immediately that I was still lusting over the Ombre effect. Don't you just love this illustration? Dunno if I'd ever go plum....but if I did *side eye*

Love the whispy ends and the haggered look. Loved this look but wasn't too keen on the shade as the last colour (#27 if anyone cared) did not quite compliment my skin tone in the way I hoped so I wanted to go PLATINUM blonde this time.

 I always have wispy fringes but this time I wanted a razor sharp cut like Nicki Minaj's infamous bangs. I love how well it sits but I wanted it to whisk across my eyes giving me a darker, more mysterious look than Minaj's innocent cut.

 Immediately I saw this, I knew this was the kind of blonde I wanted!! Its a shame the top looks too much like a wig....but I do love it though. Exactly what i wanted!!

If you haven't seen Leona Lewis' new look, you must have been lounging under a rock for this past month. I absolutely LOVE it! I am dead sick of her uber sweet, butter won't melt public image...BLEURGH! I LOVED this darker look on her since her i-D magazine cover (Nov 2008)...blonde on her is fugz and fake, if you ask me (which you probably didn't). But this was the length of fringe I wanted....lush!

BLEURGHair!

In the salon, about to get blowdried and styled. When my weaver was working on the blonde (#60 - Premium Now), everyone in the store, including my hairdresser, looked in shock and disgust. When I was at this stage, people were bending over backwards and craning their necks to see. This lady even changed her style to look like mine. Love it!

What do you bleurgher-boos think? You likey?

Love how it looks like, accessorised with an on-season trilby/ fedora. Can't wait for the sun to be beaming in full-force! EEK!!

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Swish your tresses with pride. Xisses

My First Ever HAUL!

**Soundtrack of the Minute - Price Tag : Jessie J ft. B.o.B**

I'm so excited cos the weather is really heating up and spring is here!! EEK!! I've newly become BLEURGHsessed with YouTube vloggers...my fave guilty pleasure is watching people's "My Perfect Imperfections". Anyway, as you know, I'm a shoppaholic! And since exams, I haven't really taken the time out to pay my friends (known to others as store garments and sales assistants) a little visit. By little...well, I don't mean little at ALL!

Here's my first ever VLEURGH documenting my haul...hope you guys like my purchases! Be sure to let me know if I listed anything and didn't name the store or price and you wanted to know? Also, I captioned the spring trends, so be sure to keep an eye out and tell me your best pieces :)

Don't hesitate to 'rate', 'like' and 'comment' the video bleurgher-boos! (Really sad cos I'm meant to be at my friend's fashion show atm but so much has happened to lemme know that dude...you need to get your life in check!)

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! In the words of my fellow shoppaholic **Toy-Toy, "shopping is a necessity, food can be compromised". Xisses

Love and Other Drugs...

**Soundtrack of the Minute  - Celebration : Tank**

Hey dolls! I went to see Love and Other Drugs on Orange Wednesday (well, none of us could activate the orange iPhone app or had an orange sim but you get the point lol) and I have to say, its in my faves RomCom list right behind The Notebook. What a classic? It really got me thinking (along with the million questions daily asking me what I'm doing for Valentines' Day?) about contemporary love and its practical reality.

 Fur HeadCandy : Primark | Neck Candy : (Detached from a clutch) | Blazer : Miss Selfridge 

Shrug (Jumper converted) : Manchester Boutique | Tank : H&M | Leather Shorts : Primark

I guess when you're younger you have all these lists of things you wanna accomplish and get done, and then you LIVE and reality sets in and steals away your dreams (well, if you let it I guess *shrugs*)! And the sad thing is, on that list is 'The perfect Guy'...oh boy! Reading a lot and just bleurghing with friends has alerted me to a fundamental fact that apparently, at this age (20-25), everyone should have had their heart broken once. Now, the effect of this is what I wanna bleurgh about...

 GNO (Girls' Night Out) Outfit

Off-The-Shoulder Top : Allders | Bodycon Skirt : H&M | Peeptoe Ankle Boots : Barratts

Its easy to dwell on that ONE person and let it steer your life to a lonely path of destruction, like Jake Gyllenhal in the movie. He'd become a calculated emotionless psychopath, like most of us this age, trying to prove that dating around and having empty, meaningless flings is fulfilling....but we all know the truth *sigh*

 Oversize Cardigan : Primark (MensWear) | V-Neck Jumper : Lee Cooper | Skirt : Primark | Boots : Allders

To pull yourself away from that and actually decide to fix yourself in prep of the next one is a hard battle. There is temptation everywhere and tbh, its harder to say no than yes, but hey! On the journey to self-discovery, who said there weren't gonna be any bumps along the way?

Finger Candy : Bonita's | Watch : Guess | Nail Polish : Nails Inc (Germyn Street) & Barry M (Racing Green)

 I guess its laughable that girls spend their entire life waiting and planning for the one, and building every relationship up to this idealised mould. But its lovely to dream isn't it? As the realist I am, I watched the movie in awe. Quite like The Notebook, the characters were relatable...they weren't gushy, lovesick puppies from the start. They doubted, they fell out, and then worked it out. Thats life! You can't sit on your romp and expect Prince Charming to come-a-calling, life awaits and so does love...get up, and get it.

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!!"There's a lot I don't understand about life. You meet thousands of people, and then you meet one person and your life is changed" Love & Other Drugs...Xisses

Take U To The Movies...

**Soundtrack of the Minute - I can't make you love me : Tank**

That title makes me chuckle cos its the words by Bangs. If you haven's seen the YouTube phenomenon that is Banks, Click Here. ABSOLUTE HILARITY!!

Anyway, this weekend, my siblings came to Manchester to spend some quality time with me. I love my family to bits as you all know and whenever they come, I get pampered and treated like the baby of the family, which I love (I wont lie *giggles*). Anyway, my sister came with her dictator-like views, claiming she was NOT going to see Black Swan, and having seen like EVERY movie on the list *kmt*, we settled for this Owen Wilson flick. With him in it, I knew I was guaranteed a loud outburst here and there....love that guy!!

Beret : Primark | Leotard : Primark | Oversize Cardigan : Primark (Mesnwear) | Skirt : H&M 

Brogues : Deichmann | Neck Candy : New Look | Arm Candy : ZARA

"How Do You Know?" was actually pretty weird. I mean it was cute and all, with a cutesy "aww" ending, but there was this awkward energy evident throughout like the characters weren't entirely comfortable with one another. I liked the overall message though...there is someone out there that will love you, quirks and all. There's no need to settle or go with a guy cos he's offering you what you want at that moment....for most girls, its a relationship, or some kind of cemented commitment. But this guy may grate the cheese off you or he may want you to change the way you react to a certain thing that you REALLY love, but you do it anyway. *sigh*

"After all the boys, that I thought had loved me more. Didn't know what love was, till you knocked on my door" 

Keri Hilson - All The Boys.

When **Cidzzz left, me and my brother were able to indulge in a movie we had been waiting for, for FAR too long now! I was enchanted by this movie from the moment I watched the trailer. SHEESH! It was SO worth it dudes...its a DEF must see!

I loved the dodgy camera angles which made you feel like you were stalking the protagonist, Natalie Portman. Also, as an ex-Media/Drama student, I greatly applauded Natalie Portman's performance. Being the 1st movie of hers that I'd actually watched, I was beyond impressed. She jumped out of the screen and really shocked me with just how multifaceted her acting was. WOW! And Mila (Jackie from That 70s Show)...she was just a joker! I absolutely fell in love with her character!! The Mr McFrenchy however? What a douche!! Guys... go see it so we can relate LOL. Its funny cos guys HATE the ballet (well, I don't know this 1st hand, but from all the movies and TV programs where the girlfriend drags her boyfriend against his will, one can only assume)...so its funny that this is like a get-out clause for us girlies. Drag your boyfriends girls!! LOL *evil chuckle*...kidding! He'll love it too :)

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! "The only person standing in your way is you" Black Swan. Xisses

SURPRISE!

**Soundtrack of the  Weekend - Lay It Down : Lloyd**

Last Friday, amidst all my final exams stress, I and my friend *ToyToy organised a surprise party for my flatmate and BFF (not to mention, ex co-Blogger) **YaYa. It was a lovely but stressful affair, but it was the least I could do after she threw one for me in 2009 (goodtimes).

The Pre-Drinks was harder to organise as there have been more than a few flops this semester at holding a successful houseparty so expectation of a good turn-out was eerily scary. However, there was no need to worry as our true friends were there :) It was SO much fun being tossed into busy-mode the second I left the exam hall! Plus putting that heifer on hold by claiming I was here rather than there was more than enough fun!!

We had MORE than enough alcohol from mild tasters like wine, Smirnoff Ice, Alize and Baileys (YES! I made a Baileys Milkshake!!) to HARD liquor (in the words of my friend **Paulie LOL he does the Dr Dre tight-lipped face everytime he takes a sip, its HILARIOUS) like Dissarano, Martini, Southern Comfort and others...*alcoholic sigh* Lets just say, by the time we were headed out to the club, we were all pretty much LIQ'D!! LOL

**YaYa was blissfully unaware that I had liaised with her mother and secured a table at one of her favourite clubs and put a great deal of mula down for us to get even more 'fun' down our throats! LOL...she was in tears (of joy ofcourse) the whole time. From the moment she saw the 1st bucket of Moet to the last jolt of Vodka shots...

 

Jumpsuit : ZARA  (Luxury Collection on Sale - £9.99...AMAZE-Balls!!)

Me and **Toy-Toy searched left-right-and centre to find her the perfect cake as she truly deserved the final touch to her great day. As well as the stress from the last-minute changes made to the guestlist, I'd say the cake finding was the 2nd most stressful bit. The initial baker was too far from London for the London guests to pick it on their way up...and the 2nd fell ill just a week to the day. But everything happens for a reason right? Look at the absolute beaut we ended up with....

Chocolate gateau centre....anyone else agree YUM!!

 She looks SO gleeful! LOL giddy lil twerp...bless her though

LOL Look at her makeup...running from all the tears shed, yet she's joyously sucking on that lolly like her life depended on it! I love her to bit...I look gone, I wont lie! HA!

But her belated celebrations didn't end there. She already invited a bunch of people to a meal the next day and as tired and wrecked as we all were, we decided to keep the reservation and eat a wholesome meal :) at Manchester 235...

 The lovely ladies at the dinner: (From Left) **YaYa (The Birthday Girl); Me; *Kemmie; *Toy-Toy

Silk Shirt : Primark | Cordoroy Trousers : ZARA (On Sale - £15) | Lace-Up Wedges : Primark (On Sale - £3)

Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Cheers to the days ahead and the years we've previously shared...Xisses

Since You've Been Gone...

**Soundtrack of the Minute -  Blow Ya Mind : Nicki Minaj**

So as you know, I had the first part of my finals in January and had to take THE  longest break ever from bleurghing...and BOY oh BOY did I miss tapping away on Blanche filling you bubbas in on the ins and outs of life through my non-20/20 eyes LOL

This post is dedicated to things I missed and did in the time I was away. Its probably gonna be the longest post EVER but hope it keeps you entertained! :)

BLEURGHSESSIONS

Although I stopped bleurghing, I am obsessed with Blogger that I couldn't quite stay away from my fave BLEURGHsessions! The ones that kept me going through the exam stress had to be 'Black Girls Are Easy' (hilarious stuff! Posted this on my twitter - @onyxsta - cos I was laughing so hard on the bus when reading the 'Men Choose, Women Settle' piece that the other passengers were giving me the 'loco, lock her up in a psychi-ward' glare). And my FAVE female quad-bloggers '4Aces' made an EPIC return to blogging....*sigh of relief*....oh how I missed them!

Neck Candy : H&M | Jumper : MK One | Skirt : H&M

(I apologise for the mess and indoor pics but exams had me hibernating...*sigh*)

MUSIC WHILE YOU WAIT

One thing that definitely helps me relax, party, zone out...anything really, is MUSIC! I am a lyric freak (as you know) and from now on, the *Soundtrack of the Minute* posted at the top will have a link to the song via YouTube :)

But anyway, I thought I'd share a snippet of my revision playlist with you guys:

• Nicki Minaj: Save me | Fly | Moment For Life
• Drake: I'm Ready For Ya
• Chipmunk ft Chris Brown: Champion
• Dr Dre: KUSH
• Fantasia: Even Angels
• Jamie Foxx: WInner
• Jazmine Sullivan: 10 Seconds | Stuttering | Luv Back | Excuse Me
• Keri Hilson: All The Boys | Toy Soldier | Beautiful Mistake
• Adele: Turning Tables | Love Song | Someone Like You

Fur Head Candy : Primark | Fur Collar : Etam (detached from an OLD cardigan that got ruined in the wash)

Neck Candy : ?? (Detached from an OLD clutch) | Jumper : H&M | Wellies : Hunter

ZODIAC FREAK

I'm not one to stalk my star sign (Scorpio for those that care to know) daily trying to figure out why this happened or what cosmic synergy occured that prompted so-and-so to act the way they did....blah! But I wont deny the fact that when I go past the horoscope page in a magazine, I read it religiously.....or believe in the crappy superstition that you can't read another person's star sign etc. And as the secretive, sassy, complicated female that I am, I have been one to be pigeon-holed in the characteristics of a typical scorpio. So when I heard that there was an extra sign and all of a sudden I wasn't a scorpio anymore....erm....say what?? LOL...NO!

 Head Candy : **Stolen from my cousin Charmz | Jacket : 18th Birthday gift from **8Baller **IzzI

 Knitted Dress : Topshop | Longsleeve Top : Primark | Checkered Shorts : Republic | Knee High Boots : USC

Finger Candy : Bonita's | Arm Candy : Miss Selfridge bands; GUESS Watch

INDEPENDENT BLOGGER

I joined the Independent Bloggers as you can see from the badge on the top right of the page....I'm so excited to broaden the audience of BLEURGH! And as the readership and fanbase keeps growing, I want to venture into new things. As you know, I have a voice and hate being caged or typecasted into one box. So this year I want to upload 'Haul' YouTube videos, guest write or feature on other blogs, review different products and places....can't wait!

 Neck Candy : **Hand-me-down from Grandma | Coat : Littlewoods Direct | Oxford Brogues : Deichmann

 Cardigan : Primark (Mens' Wear) | Skirt : Vero Moda

 Neck Candy : Wallis | Dress (Worn as a Top) : H&M

 STYLISH BLOGGER AWARD

I've always wanted one of these and I'm WELL chuffed I got one from the lovely Nilufar! We actually went to the same primary and secondary school, as well as college so it was lovely when we both discovered we each blog! Thanks hun, and be sure to check out her blog guys x
THE RULES-

7 Things you didn't know about me:-

• I have a seasonal 'OnyxBerry' playlist on my Blackberry to blast away while I shower
• My eyes are pretty bad so I have glasses but NEVER really wear them *squint*
• I am a shoppaholic! Well, I guess you guys already know that *blush*
• I was gonna go down in my High School Year Book as the Biggest Clutz 'cos I fell down every single day....guearnteed!
• I am yet to take my theory or practical driving test even though I've had my Provisional since I was 18
• I am an American TV fanatic
• I want to cut my hair, old-Rihanna style this summer :)

(NOMINATE 15 OTHERS) I am passing on this award to 15 of my stylish BLEURGHsessions (apparently they have to be relatively new bloggers so no can-do to the classics, but be sure to check my sidebar on the right for my 'Daily Breads')...x

1. LolliHearts - http://www.lollihearts.co.uk/
2. Bosun - http://thetastelevel.blogspot.com/
   
3. Lily - http://www.llymlrs.com/
4. Angela Simmons - http://thehiphopprincess.blogspot.com/
5. Azede Jean-Peirre - http://uncouturier.blogspot.com/
6. Nicola - http://blazerwhore.blogspot.com/
7. Yemi - http://boneidleyemi.blogspot.com/
8. Raez - http://www.cheapthrillsss.com/
9. Omowunmi - http://www.daisy-mak.com/
10. Dara - http://daraudom.blogspot.com/
11. 4 Aces - http://4acesdate.blogspot.com/
12. Shope - http://londonscloset.blogspot.com/
13. Shirley - http://www.meek-n-mild.com/
14. Lola & Fikki - http://thepastimebliss.blogspot.com/
15. Pretty Haute - http://urprettyhaute.blogspot.com/ 

 
 Onyxsta says...BLEURGH!! Since you've been gone...*yawn* recap done. I'm back hunnies!! Xisses